did some reading today on why people do things. is it self interest, interest in preserving the group so they can go on? or is it morals? morals make the most sense to me .... morals motivate people. not some sort of calvinist morals, but the kind of morals that you could make a good exciting movie out of. (you pick what you like, and what you want in your movie.) i guess i have to see, how can i mesh with the fabric of my workplace, which is very much about showing up for moral reasons. described as being able to be present for other people.
these are a little bit of lonely times, maybe that is why i am focusing so much on my work. at home i don't have the same moral instinct, even though i know that rest, relaxation and recuperation are what i need for the next day's work. i still feel lonely though. maybe it's time to explore how my resting and recuperation here can lead me to be open to other people around me. i am a sour patch kid that i want someone to suck on. maybe i just am not letting the right people in.
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